He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
