Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
