Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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