she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
