if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
