I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she smelled like a LAN party
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
