My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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