somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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