Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I want a musical about memes.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
