My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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