I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
