Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
