saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
