K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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