u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I could fuck to npr.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
