I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
