I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
