Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
