i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
