Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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