hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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