we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I am available for nakedness
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
