She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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