Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Farmville is her only friend.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
