Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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