i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
