i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
