these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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