she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
