OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
