Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
