Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
