yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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