I puked a lego.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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