Small penises have feelings too.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
