is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
