new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
my being single is dangerous.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
