Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
