i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
