he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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