I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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