I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
