i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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