Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
