I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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