so explain again why im purple
no
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
