After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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