she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
