Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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