I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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