You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
