Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
